This wasn’t in the brochure…

I was diagnosed with two different cancers in 2006. My chemo treatments ended in 2007. And nothing has quite been the same since. This much is true:

-My body hurts more since cancer.

-My body seems angrier since cancer. (hence the pain???)

-My hand writing has gotten worse since cancer.

-The pain flare-ups happen more and more frequently and lately I find myself waiting for the day when I can’t work thru the pain and it will be more than I can deal with.

-I don’t take pain meds because I don’t want to become dependent on them, but it’s getting to a point where I can’t avoid them anymore.

-I am 40 years old and more often than not I feel twice my age, and that’s on a good pain day.

-I don’t understand the pain anymore. I had a lot of pain during my treatments and then on and off for several months afterward, and my thinking then was that it was related to the chemo. Today I am not so sure, it’s almost 4 years since my diagnosis and the pain isn’t getting any better. The flare-ups happen all the time now and until just a few days ago I thought I had it at least partially figured out…but I was wrong.

-Life after cancer is as complicated as life during cancer.

-Everything is still upside down…the shockwaves continue to touch every corner of our lives. 

…It’s entirely possible the pain I’m dealing with now has absolutely nothing to do with cancer or the chemo. But I know this much…I didn’t have this pain before cancer so it’s related somehow. 

It has to be.

(I should have read the fine print, they always get you with the fine print)

Damn.

be well, Scotty.

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Published in: on July 26, 2010 at 11:52 pm  Comments (1)  
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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. Have you tried acupuncture? It might help your pain. Some insurance policies even cover it. Mine doesn’t. 😛


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