Some Truths, Some Lies…

I was born under a dark and cynical moon in October of ’69. My parents did heavy drugs in those days and almost named me Willow Moonbeam. Thankfully someone wrote Scott on the birth certificate.

I grew up on the road, my parents were wanted in 5 states on a felony drug charge and my dad was contemplating a sex change operation to elude the FBI.

My father worked for the Baldecki’s in the textile business and they had Jack Kennedy’s head in a glass jar in a back room of the factory.

Rumor was they wanted to transplant it onto some dumb schmuck’s body just like Frankenstein’s monster. But then “mumbles” got arrested and the plan went to pot. Where JFK’s head went is anybody’s guess.

I spent my early years in the back of an old VW wagon. My parents camped out in the drive ways of random extended family in PA and VA and FL. Up and down I95 until my dad lost the van in a poker game in Elizabeth NJ. They were playing for pink slips.

When I was ten they bought my little brother on the black market, he had a major genetic defect because was conceived in a test tube and frozen in 1952, well before technology made this commonplace. They thawed him out in 1973. What a ornery cur he was too.

We moved to Fairview and Acres in 1980 and my father tried to go legitimate selling woman’s underwear door to door. My mother was taking fistfuls of Valium and my brother was eating paint out of the can. I on the other hand only pretended to drink the cool aid and was never brainwashed into the screwed up mindset they all adapted to by early 1984.

in 1985 My father tried cloning the family dog just before the dog died and in a freak accident actually accomplished a full size replica of the dog, but the clone was of the sick version and it died 5 hours after the original dog gave up the ghost. He tried again on a squirrel and then Uncle Arnie.

One day I came home from school and two versions of my grandmother were sitting at the kitchen table having a conversation. My mother said one grandmother was from present day and the other one was from one day in the future. We weren”t sure how she got back in time by one day. But they chatted away for hours like they just met.  She told us wild stories about gas and electric hybrid cars and who would host “The Price is Right” one day. She explained how Hollywood would make the shittiest movies ever and release them in the summer and tried to explain this abomination called “American Idol” and reality TV. She told us Jeff Propst is the anti-christ.

Soon my black market test tube baby brother was hired as a speed bump in the mall parking lot, my parents threw  party. They had to wait for his shift to end and for him to change out of his concrete uniform and shower off the engine oil and other exhaust fumes before coming home to his party. He got sick and threw up behind the couch.

I was given a day old piece of cake my one day in the future grandma brought from tomorrow when everybody else the old stand by: Ice Box cake. (fresh made that day?!?)

I walked outside to the edge of the world since the world was flat, I stared into the abyss. I felt a tap on my shoulder and it was this beautiful girl holding out 3 pills in the palm of her hand.

She was dressed in a short white skirt and very tight top, her breasts bulging forth struggling to remain in her blouse. She wore white thigh high stockings and red high heels. Her blond hair was up in a pony tail and she wore red lipstick. She was my teenage future mid-life fantasy woman dressed a sexy nurse…she handed me the pills and I took them. She turned to leave as I washed them down with a warm Pepsi.

I tried to catch up but tripped and fell out of bed….

*********************

 Body pain has been minimal, last couple of days. It comes and goes and seems to mirror Fibromyalgia. I have an appointment with a Rheumatologist next month.

We’ll see what he arrives at. Can’t wait.

Be well, Scotty

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. You had me going for a minute there! 😉


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