Mi Madre Esta Con Dios

I have always wondered what happens to our souls when we die. My faith and upbringing would have me believe that we rush to the face of God the moment we pass away: The spirit and soul, which are eternal, are united with Christ at the moment of the believer’s death (2 Corinthians 5:8).

6Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. 7We live by faith, not by sight. 8We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.

But of course I’m not so sure. Just how it’s been accepted that “away from the body”  means “immediately with the Lord” is confusing. That much is wide open to interpretation, but it’s a comforting thought to not imagine our loved ones wandering about some nether region in limbo wondering where they are. And perhaps why we can’t see them anymore.

When my friend Steve died suddenly of a heart attack at 39 I spent days wondering if his soul was just ripped from his body and he was wandering about in a spiritual transfer station waiting for his paperwork to some thru so he could move on.

Can you imagine that red tape? Probably a lot like the DMV…

“your papers haven’t come in yet, please take a seat and you will be called in a few thousand years” and Steve would have to sit back down in a cold plastic chair in a massive room the length of infinity. I can imagine more than half of the chairs filled with the newly deceased, sitting there, confused and uncertain of what just happened.

Steve died suddenly.

My mother had 18 months to prepare for this as much as possible. Do I imagine her sitting there now? Sort of, yes I do.

She took her last breath on Friday evening around 5:30. I imagine her soul or spirit sat up in the hospital bed she had been trapped in for over a year, threw her legs over the side and hopped out of bed. She would have seen my father attending to her now lifeless body and she might have stood there to watch the moments that followed, maybe she waited long enough to see him place a call to me telling me what just happened, and I imagine she was in the parking lot with me as I spoke to him about it.

I imagine my mom can now travel at the speed of light, but I also think she is waiting for her paperwork to be processed in that transfer station where Steve has taken a number an wandered off.

I imagine my mother was reunited with her mother sometime that day (after 22 years) and I imagine she wondered out loud why Aunt Eleanor was there. (no one told my mom Aunt El had passed away a few weeks ago, Dad thought she wouldn’t have been able to handle that info at the time)

The bible says if we are absent of our bodies then we are present with the Lord. (or God) and that is a comforting thought if it’s anything. I’d hope Steve and my mom and any number of people waiting in line at this transfer station get thru as quickly as possible.

But they are on a journey none of us can comprehend right now. My heart aches a bit thinking of her wondering about all alone out there. Even when we die and are surrounded with family we die ALONE she passed over by herself, we were left behind.

We each were born alone, we went thru that process technically alone although we were entering the world to a family and a room full of lights and people in masks and noise and cold. We experienced birth alone. Individually we experience death alone regardless of who is there when it happens.

For now a difficult new chapter begins in this family as my father begins his journey as a widower. It is this fact that seems to bother me the most.

Mi Madre Esta Con Dios 

Translated: “My mother is with God”

be well, Scott

I’ll be back here after all. Just can’t stifle the words.

Published in: on August 22, 2010 at 11:18 am  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Your mom is with the Lord. I have to believe that Jesus is much more efficient than humans are. I believe He instantaneously received your mother into His glory. She knows no more pain or worry, but she will be missing her loved ones until you are all able to join her.

    Peace, my friend.

  2. Scott, you brought me to tears reading about your mom’s passing and how she may have been with you while your dad spoke with you about it. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to be on the otherside, watching and listening to what is happening to those who I’ve left behind. It’s comforting to think that while the living won’t be able to see me, I will still be able to be present in their lives and check in on them once in a while. Your mom is still with you, she will be the warm touch you may feel on your shoulder, but when you look behind you no one is there. She is the peaceful sound of the rain, the sudden cool breeze on a hot still day and the butterfly that lands right in front of you and stays long enough to remind you of how fragile and beautiful life is. You will miss her, but she will always be with you.

  3. Carry the memories with love and care.

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