Here’s to us and what we were…

Took the kids to see “Despicable Me” at the only Drive-In theater left in the NJ/NY area. Very funny movie. We all enjoyed it. It was kind of bittersweet because the last movie we saw at the same Drive-In was “WALLE” with our friend Steve and his family. A few months later Steve died of a massive heart attack.

Dawn an I danced to the Hooters “And we danced” (from 1985) while painting our new place. It was on cassette. A very 80’s tune for a very 80’s couple. Our kids just looked at us funny until my son started dancing too. In 1985 I was a sophomore in High School. Dawn and I were friends but didn’t start dating until 1988.

If I haven’t mentioned it here before, BIG (with Tom Hanks) was our first date. She just found that movie on VHS in the basement.

We watched FANDANGO with a young Kevin Costner, Judd Nelson, Sam Robards last night. (also on VHS, strangely enough also released in 1985) 


This is from Donald Miller’s blog (credit goes to him) but it made me think yesterday…quite a bit.

Here’s a secret I learned long ago. It’s a big one and it’ll propel you into a future of greatness….


Instead of taking social cues from people your age, take cues from people ten and twenty years older than you. Are you looking for a church that has a lot of people who are your age so you can hang out? That’s fine, but try looking for one where most of the people have families and perhaps a little grey hair. Why? Because the sooner you can relate to their priorities, the sooner you’ll be ready for the next stage of life. I’m in my late thirties but I’m more interested in hanging out with people who are retired. What’s it teaching me? It’s teaching me what matters later in life is friendships, family and love. In matters of faith, what matters to them is not theological debate, but closeness with Jesus and unity with believers

Maybe my circle of friends/co-workers is made up of the wrong age group. Most of the people I have worked with on a daily basis range from 23 to 35. I am moving into a position now where most of the people I will be working with on a daily basis are 4 to 5 years my senior. Priorities are different and perhaps more on track with my own…our own.

I am now in my early 40’s and my birthday next month slams the lid shut on the 30’s forever. (41 really is the start of my 5th decade, we count from 1 to 10 so “40” was the end of my 30’s…like 2000 was NOT the new millennium 2001 was…but I digress)

Age and perspective varies for everyone. But my experience is not your experience and a lot of times I see what people around me are doing and Dawn and I have sat here saying to each other “been there done that” in some capacity or another.  We have lived that part of our lives to some extent and are planning on the days ahead when our kids are old enough that we can start to enjoy this coming decade. Our oldest is ten yrs old and soon enough her life is going to move into a new phase of friends and boys and what not. And our lives will change too.

Priorities are shifting as the days change and what we want next year is not necessarily what someone else wants who isn’t at this point in their lives or marriage or whatever.

We have moved past the need for things. I don’t want things! I am angling for a new lap top but that is pretty much it. We joked about my mid-life crisis and I’m not the sports car type, can’t really drive stick anyway. My days of partying and drinking are behind me and I didn’t exactly do much of that either. …so what do I need or want at my age?


Time to paint or doodle and cartoon.

Time to read. Most of what is on TV is garbage, if it isn’t on Discovery channel or a select few sitcoms, Dawn and I don’t watch much TV at all. The kids might watch Nickelodeon (“iCarly” and such etc) but that’s about it.  

And time to write.

What I want most at my age is “time” I guess. Time to think. Time to feel the space around me, like this morning. Dawn is still asleep and the kids are playing their DS games in their room, no one is bothering me as I blog right now.

This is paradise. It will all change in a heartbeat and the day gets rolling and doesn’t stop until the kids are finally in bed but… in the end all I want is time.


“Here’s to us, by God!  To us, and that.     
…and privileges of youth.                 
Here’s to us and what we were.                  
…and what we’ll be.”     -Gardner Barnes (Kevin Costner, Fandango)


Recently we have found some very old treasured friends on Facebook and have made some new (long distance) ones. It’s an ok service if you use it the right way and keep in touch with people, but if you look at what is usually posted there Facebook has made us all a little more narcissistic than usual and some status updates people put out there, make me scratch my head and wonder.

But then again blogging about one’s self is pretty narcissistic too. I am willing to admit that.


And lastly, I don’t understand what anyone sees in Adam Lambert.

As always be well.



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