No Looking Back!

It’s symbolic, but true. We don’t know how or maybe when to let go, I found this quote the other day: “Men don’t know how to say goodbye and women don’t know when…”

I have had a lot to think about these last few days. A lot of priorities to re-shuffle and I found some things taking higher priority than others. This is rather normal when you take stock of your life and wonder if everything is in the right place at the right time.

A time when you ponder the relationships and situations and people in your life and even your job. I have had to examine if I am giving enough time to whats most important in my life and I found in a lot of areas I was not.

I have a couple unresolved tasks I want to accomplish now that I am in my 40’s and hopefully as this year winds down and we begin anew in 2011 my family and I will have a renewed sense of direction and purpose. Our sole purpose post cancer is to rebuild…brick by brick, day by day, moment by moment.

I am resetting goals that have been ignored recently in my past and perhaps setting one major attainable goal with measurable bench marks I can quantify as I go along.

I have come to realize that my priorities (wants vs. needs) in this life are not going to line up with anyone else but my wife and kids. And life certainly threw us under the bus four years ago, screwed up everything we ever hoped to do. We are still dealing with the financial fallout that came with my unexpected illness. As my kids grow up they will have to consider what’s most important to them as well and eventually their families. (God willing) I hope they will walk away from this part of our lives having learned something.

So…I am currently resetting parameters in my life and while I am acknowledging my past I am not looking back, I can’t afford to. In fact I heard that little voice inside Don Henley’s head that said “don’t look back, you can never look back”

So I’m not.

…I can never look back. 

-S.

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