Take the Happy pills

I snapped. I snapped in a big way directing all my pent up frustration at my 7 year old son who innocently blurted out during dinner that he accepted a kitten from a classmate.

I have snapped before. Its not pretty. My son didn’t deserve what he got…after my barrage of screaming he was reduced to a blubbering mess of tears and quivering lips.

My wife running in late for her shift at StuffMart caught this transaction mid-meltdown.

She in turn quickly reduced me to a pile of dig shit in a matter of seconds, while trying to calm down our son.

I don’t know why his declaration set me off…but that was the spark that ignited the powder keg I became throughout the day.

I am certainly stressed to the max but that is no reason for me to unload on a seven year old.

I did eventually apologize and we exchanged hugs. I even had to hug his best friend Buddy. A stuffed lion he has had since he was an infant.

I apologized to Buddy as well.

My daughter didn’t react at all, didn’t try to defend him or risk being cut down in the hail of fire and brimstome I was shooting out of my mouth.

She knew better. She unfortunately as my wife reminded me later on is used to it. She has been on the short end of that stick before.

I knew the second I lost it that my screaming over such a trivial misunderstanding between 2nd graders had no reasoning behind it…but having “lost it before” I am uncontrollable when I’m like that.

In calmer discussions later with my wife, we realized that I had not been taking the anxiety meds my Dr gave me for “restless leg syndrome” and that it is a good possibility that my pacing thru the house yesterday was a sign I was on the edge and if there is a next time, I should burn off my stress and pent up frustrations not regulated by my prescrition drugs before the kids come home from school.

I woke up yesterday and knew something was “off”…

The moral is…I need to take my meds. Manage my stress better and do something constructive with my anger.

My son never saw that coming. I am such an ass.

Published in: on October 13, 2011 at 9:32 am  Leave a Comment  
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