I fail to see the humor

I am sitting in my kitchen, second cup of coffee winding down. I’ve attempted calling Unemployment this morning, to call in my numbers but I am getting a fast busy on both numbers.

This is usually a quick and painless transaction, but if I cant get thru today at all I have to wait until Wednesday to call again. This prolongs the delivery of funds into my account and again stresses me out as too many things need to be paid…yesterday.

I find that I am not dealing with stress very well at all anymore. It has me thinking about job choices I need to make because I used to be accustomed to high volume, tight dead-lined type of work.

But I think that has changed. I think I need a low intensity, low stress, non-decision making position somewhere.

The days of thinking something medical or emergency related are thinning out.

I had considered joining the local first aid squad with the intent of EMT schooling paid for by the state, which could lead to all sorts of medical related possibilities.

The slightest thing raises my blood pressure now. Dealing with intrusive parents with my cub scout den gets on my nerves now.

So much so that lately I catch my breathing patterns changing and I start to pace…like a caged animal. (See previous posts)

I am not happy with where I am in life right now (To say the least) and it bugs the living shit out of me.

Maybe its just too expensive in Jersey. Maybe its the business climate. Maybe its just the economy. Maybe its…me.

It’s no surprise that Jersey costs too much and it is high time to get out of dodge. Go south, south west. And also because the cold is wreaking havok with my body…

Last winter was brutal. It gets worse every year.

How am I supposed to successfully rob liquor stores when my joints hurt so much I couldn’t make a clean getaway?

“It was a cranky old guy in glasses and a baseball cap. Oh and he had limp and complained his fingers and shoulders hurt” 

How’s a guy supposed to make a living suffering with cold weather related arthritis-like body and joint pain?

I worry too much. My days as an over-churched youth reminds me to not worry and to cast my cares onto God. But it isn’t that easy when the electric bill still reads in bold print: “Pending Shut Off scheduled for…” after I gave the bill to the Almighty.

“How are you gonna pay it God? Do I tell them you’re sending a check or money order?”

Did I mention how much I hate where I am in life right now?

I could list all things we are doing without, but it wouldn’t change anything. It would just depress me further.

Stress can kill you. I have blogged before that I didn’t beat two cancers to die from stress, but then again…it appears I probably will.

Life is all about irony. Ha Ha that’s the joke. Right God?

Well. I fail to see the humor.


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